i gave up smoking on the 27th may 2007. Which means the one year mar has slipped by without me noticing. I've had a few smokes over the months, just on the odd occasion, not felt like pursuing this further, im proud.

this morning i awoke in a state of bliss.
Still not smoking - over 3 weeks now, i a immeasurably proud of myself, it makes me grin ear to ear

7.46 am - still not smoking, a feeling of pride swells in my stomach, i am startign to feel purer and i must say, calmer, this morning, as i sit here in baggy cotton pants, blakc hoodie, barefoot, with a pristine white Mac laptop on my, well, lap, and loko out the window at the bright blue sky, i feel content, no craving to smoke, my insides are becoming as clean as my outside.

my live journal has taken over a new lease of life of late, im enjoying writing and adding daily now, i have remembered the beauty of being able to look back after time, and see where i was at, where live was heading, how i was feeling and what was happening in the day.

Mornings remain a special time for me, i always wake early, and rarely see the point in extending my sleep, on waking after cuddling the wife, waking her up to hear the nonsense of the just woken, i leave her in her confused state and make my morning tea, stretch, and fire up the laptop for some early morning reflection and some music from lastfm.com - give them a try, free internet radio that you select b genre, some truely excellent tunes and catorgries.

todays picture:

i quit smoking today. Its half twelve, ive been up since six, im not counting the hours, only the cravings, which it seems set upon me, pretty much every fifteen minutes, to be honest, its not good, im finding it hard, very hard, but still smiling to mysef when i notice a craving...and moving on. I feel a heat in my stomach and a warmth in my throat, and a compulsion, all over me, itching for the balcony, to roll up and smoke...but, just ten minutes ago i threw out every single combustible, scattered the loose tobacco into the bottom of the bin, and made sure that i made a cup of tea, so that tobacco was sodden and unuseable, it didnt put it past myself to go scraping through the bin to get it back, if i was feeling weak. So now, if i give in to the weakness, i have to go to the milk bar, which is even further away, less of a tempation.
The desire to quit didnt immediatly take hold it has to be said. I went for a early morning drive/walk down beach road to take a few photo's and start getting some footage for a film i am planning on putting together for a friend, and the air was so fresh, crisp. I could feel it inside of me, no smoke had touched these lungs at that point. And walking back up the hill i could feel the tightness and the stretch, my insides complaining, and it was then, that i decided that stopping might be something worth considering. As i dove back home, and thought about swimming and surfing i further concreted my decison, i will be fitter and healthier in the water, which can only be good., im lying here now, strangely calm and not missing my litle sticks of death. So onto the photo's from this mornings little recce: